I’m not sure if I would call him “the one that got away” so much as “the one with crappy timing”.
I met this guy right after my ex of many years and I split up. At first, I wasn’t even attracted to him. He was ok looking, but had kind of a messed up grill, and I’m a sucker for nice teeth. Still, he was fun and funny and (uh oh!) in a band I liked.
I would go see his band play, and we became friends. I started developing one of those unexplainable crushes on him, where you know you’re not even attracted to a person, yet you inexplicably want to be around them ALL THE TIME. I would go to his work and hang out with him and the rest of his buddies. I’d follow his band to out of town gigs. Pretty soon, he and I became thick as thieves. I’d crash at his place when we’d go out drinking and I was too intoxicated to drive home. We’d meet up and arrive at parties and events together, to the point that we were always being asked if we were dating. Sometimes, with me standing right there, he’d tell the person that we were. I still don’t know why.
He always did this…he’d openly flirt with me in front of anyone and everyone, and he’d make it seem like we were an item. He even let people think we had slept together. He and I shared a bed many times, but never did anything more than make out a few times.
We were the best of friends, and people already thought we were dating, so I thought I should probably make a move on him. I had it all planned out. And then he introduced me to his new girlfriend. I wanted to hate her, but she was a doll. However, some of those rumors about us dating got back to her, and she started to become very suspicious of me. I don’t blame her. I probably would have if I were her, too.
Because she was suspicious, I did my best to keep my distance from him. It was very hard. He and I had so much fun together, and it was hard to plan a night out and not ask him to come with, or to plan a night in that didn’t involve watching movies on his couch.
Their relationship didn’t last, and they broke up right around the time I was getting ready to make a big change in my life. Things were going quite badly for me, and I had made a decision to uproot myself and start over in a completely new city in a completely new state. I had decided, that the only way I would stay would be if HE had asked me to stay. He didn’t. And I moved away.
He has a family now, and we’re still friends, but when we talk or when we hang out when I come back for a visit, the sexual and emotional tension is still there. I often think “what if?”, but I also know that if he had begged me to stay, I would still be unhappy, even if he and I had finally ended up together.